Boyfriend compares me to his ex reddit. Sounds like he is trying to recreate her with you or just .
Boyfriend compares me to his ex reddit I’m trying to figure out what through is exactly. And in fact I was dating him before they even met, but I dumped him & then they got together the first time. He has told me that she was toxic a couple of times and he regretted being with her but I don't really know what he has done for her. When the person I’m talking to told me the multiple people they’re attracted to it destroyed me. We've been "official" for about two months but have been actively seeing each other since last January. That she was so hot that she turned heads. And he would talk to her, so now things are chill. What you can control here is your relationship with them. The ideal response depends on the nature of the comments and how often Here are four significant red flags that may indicate that a partner still has feelings for their ex—and what you can do about it. Welcome to TwoXChromosomes, a subreddit for both serious and silly content, and intended for He's dreaming of you. I got the impression from seeing his mother for the first time that they were totally cool with me. Was this his most recent ex? She was his most recent ex and they ended in good terms which is good. " "My ex would always open doors for me. He's completely traumatized by his last relationship. I Boyfriend said he chooses his family over me . Neither his friends or him have ever ever ever said one thing about me being quiet and he’s never compared me to his ex. He used to always tell me how it was so weird that he could not hug me/be around me without getting aroused. It sounds like he's negging you or setting you up for something like that. We cannot control who your partner's family's interacts with or their relationship with his ex. My boyfriend has lied quite frequently about his exes - white lies to make me “feel better” about our relationship Her ex-boyfriend was very abusive and treated her poorly. It doesn't make him look very good when he does it. And he's your ex. I compare my brother's new girlfriends with his previous girlfriends. Year long relationship. It is really annoying and it is kinda starting to hurt my feelings. I'd just have a serious talk about it with him, when you guys aren't having sex, or aren't about to have sex. Sarah sees it from a different angle. He had picked them all out solely based on looks. Well him and his ex decided to stay friends. One of my ex had an super thick dick and the other had a really big (long) dick while my current boyfriend is just average. It's not bad per se, it's just that I'm used to being able to do several positions or feel several things and I can't with my current He doesn't compare us He just says, my ex does this my ex does that, my ex is really into this etc Things like that For example, he wanted me to make a character on Skyrim He then said his ex plays it and he showed her my character It creeped me out I haven't played it since Reply reply salebleue • 🤢 yea barf. He has compared us enough for me to know that we work in the same my boyfriend compares me and his ex all the time. I need some advice as well as different perspectives and I didn’t know where to get them but here I’ve been dating my s/o for a year and a half now and since the beginning, I’m always being compared to people he’s dated or hooked up with in his past, especially when we’re in disagreement. ) compare me to her for him! Feels My current boyfriend's dick is small compared to both my exes' and I feel unfulfilled. Am I making a mistake here somewhere? What should I take from all of this? tldr; Girlfriend compared me to her ex, saying that I don't meet her enough even though I try my best to be accommodating. But somewhere along the way, I curated an obsession with his ex (20F). it passes my mind for a few seconds, sure, but i would never point it out to my boyfriend. If I ever do something wrong then she would always point out that Mark wouldn't have made that mistake. It was her bday and I got her a Tommy Hilfiger watch worth $275 and she even though on the day seemed happy but started swearing and insulting me on how my TH watch is cheap and a cheap brand after her ex gave her a DIOR perfume box when i (21f) have been dating my boyfriend (21m) for around 2 and a half months (this time around). Appreciate his small gifts, the insignificant actions that show you he cares. There is zero reason to compare a partner to an ex especially to their face, unless you were telling funny sexual stories. It bothers me to this day and he told me 3 years ago lmao. I don't know why I do this. I It is normal to still remember random things about your ex but it is not normal to talk about it all the time and it is definitely not ok to compare. - he's mean to me whenever we play together. My current boyfriend is constantly asking me "who's better" or "who comes first" when it comes to any of my ex's and the questions are so random. My boyfriend has lied quite frequently about his exes - white lies to make me “feel better” about our relationship Thank you. Just yesterday morning I canned my therapist. Fuck that noise. He broke up with her in 2016 and she cheated on him. What if he compares me to his ex and his time with him there? Is your thinking. Here are some tips on how to handle it when guys compare you to their exes: Comparing you to his ex, even indirectly, is hurtful and inappropriate. Told me I was exaggerating and that I was “obsessed” with his ex (this was only the second time I’d mentioned her the entire time we’d dated!). " "My ex used to take me out once a week for special date night then rub essential oils on me while drawing me a bath and making me chocolate covered-strawberries before serenading me with a love-poem he wrote". How I met him, why I was attracted to him. Which, my bf has asked questions comparing himself to my ex numerous times, and I've been honest and respectful to him and his feelings. we were high school sweethearts, dating on and off from age 15 until i was 17 and he was 18 (around 2. And because she was still very much in the picture, I sort of felt that I wasn't just in a relationship with my boyfriend - but I think he loves me for me, but the worry that he is comparing me to his ex makes things difficult for me. Dump him, really run far and fast. I was upset because we were supposed to spend some quality time together but instead he was texting his ex at 11pm. I expressed early on that I was concerned that he might not be ready, but he assured me that He compares me to his ex girlfriend and his mom saying indirectly that they’re better women than me. He wants you to appreciate his affection and understand his damage My boyfriend asked out a girl (Maria) who rejected him and has been with her boyfriend since college. Some about the same. Was it normal for him to say that to me? It was only about a few weeks/month into our relationship when he first compared us. Don't treat me that way. Weirdly enough after that day I didn't hear another joke about his exes yet. This isn't helpful but I am 32 and experiencing the same thing with my boyfriend except he has told me his ex was amazing. Help her overcome those realizations so that the comparisons can stop coming to her. We have been together for about 5 months. He lost his virginity at 22 and briefly dated a girl before me (he lost hsi virginity to her). What his mom thinks is beautiful is little to no indication of what he thinks is beautiful or that he wants a woman who puts a lot of effort into hair and makeup etc. I (26F) have been with my boyfriend (33M) for +2 years now. I also kept asking my boyfriend questions about his past and what he did with his exes. I still hate amanda seyfried and jessica alba. I need advice Hi all. She intentionally mentions the ex's name and like when she's asking, it's like I am not even there. We had no issues with sex and he had no issues with cumming/staying hard. Always tell your boyfriend you think he's huge even if he isn't. im not used to this, i dont have good parents, they literally do nothing for me. After they broke up him and I started dating a month or so after. We're deeply in love and care very much about eachother, which is very obvious from the way we interact and the time we spend together, but I can't shake the feeling that he would rather be with his ex (we can call her "Julia," because that's her name). He showed me sex videos of his ex, and told me how I needed to go to the gym and grow my butt. He wants you to be his girlfriend. My ex used to compare me with other girls. Even in past relationships, I’ve never felt more aligned with someone. It arouses challenges that are difficult to ward off alone and again It can be hurtful and frustrating when your boyfriend compares you to his ex. My ex was the first guy I dated/had sex with. For the past year, he has constantly compared me to his ex girlfriends. g. She was a former lover; someone he had loved and had a sexual relationship with. But it's not really deliberate or even important, they're just sort of passing thoughts, like, "Hrm, my new boyfriend likes sushi but my ex didn't," or "My new friend Jane doesn't want kids while my long time friend Sarah didn't. I don't think it's so uncommon for some people, to slip in the wrong name, but in my case it was just innocent names i was being called, i can imagine how you must feel when he calls you by one of his ex's names. Yesterday we got into an argument and he made some rude comments like how she was “a pre med Every time your boyfriend compares you to his ex, just be like, “I’m not your ex. Let me hopefully put this into perspective; you're nervous he may leave you for his ex. me 20, him 27. I wish that for you too, and that your boyfriend is just having cold feet. " or after he does it(I'm not sure if you verbally react to it or what) change the topic. I can’t act 100% like a woman from his country because I have my own culture. Some things might remind him of his ex, and this is mainly what makes you insecure. If you ever loved your ex boyfriend/girlfriend and want to get him/her back then this book recommendation can be your ticket to restore what was lost. Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. If your partner is comparing you to his ex, it’s important to talk to him about it. Your feelings are valid. Now I feel bad about it. I was so jealous of his ex because of what she accomplished, her personality, etc. Edit: that's why things are chill. My husband and I just got married about a month ago but I feel like I'm starting to regret it because he starts bringing up his ex a bit more than he has when we were dating. I compare my new friends to my old friends. I was in this situation. i didnt have a place to stay and my dad wouldn’t even let me crash at his place. i dated around after we broke up that final time, but never got serious with anyone else. I was in your shoes. I fully understand it’s wrong, but sometimes I compare my bf to my ex in my head. Though he said my jokes were different because I am talking to my friend and he doesn't talk to his exes anymore The comparisons to his ex still bother me though it seems small. Sit her down in a neutral spot and talk to her like an adult 10 votes, 58 comments. my mom hasnt been in the picture for a long time. And always made me feel super confident, thus the major weight gain. First, he's putting the onus on her, but we all know he's going to cheat with his ex even if OP says "no. This isn't love, OP. I am a lot different from his ex girlfriend, obviously, no one is the same, but he points them out SO MUCH. Second, I’d be upset if my partner started comparing me to someone else, in the similar sense that she has done to you. Also, as a I think everything is in the title but for more context my boyfriend is very reassuring, he would never tell me that I’m prettier than her out of respect and not to compare each other, but he always make me feel comfortable around him about my appearance. We've been together two years now, and at one point I just said fuck it, and I broached the topic. I have been dating my partner for a year. I know this is the only thing that should matter but I think you get the feeling that I’m talking about. When we met he and her had been broken up for six months ish. I would imagine that if my current SO treated me a lot worse than a past SO, or was much less compatible in some ways that it had You have only been dating for 3 months. Today he really crossed a line when he questioned my I asked my boyfriend if he compared me to his ex if 2 years. We had a lot of fights because of it, and she has finally stopped. But I was the only one with interests, hobbies, personal goals The two of us did not work out after that, but now I have a boyfriend of 4 years who compares me to his ex, but in a good way always complimenting me and saying how he’s so much happier now. Sarah, a Teacher, 29, Los Angeles. At first he said no, but after a few times of asking he admitted “okay yes I compare you but it’s not like all the time or I give you a The only time my husband has ever compared me to his ex's is to tell me how much better I am than them and how he wished he met me instead. He's very sweet and caring and I love him to pieces. 5 years). And I guess from his POV that’s all supposed to be flattering to me, but I can’t help but still think of him through the BF lense, so the fact that he would be shady about wanting me and compare her to that being said, he is an ex, the relationship, however long and meaningful at the time, is over and now i’m in a different relationship. Grieving is hard but it is a healthy part of the process. but sometimes it's hard not to. Honestly, 2 months is not that long and it sounds like you are maybe still trying to get over your ex which is understandable. So I can’t help but think he wants me to act like those pictures he interacts with. - doesn't do things to make me comfortable. And when my grandmom were alive, she often called me by one of her kids names. Apparently your BF has not gotten over his ex. it’s unnecessary and ridiculous. If your He compares me to his ex at times or refers to her whenever I bring up certain topics of conversation. It’s a weird dynamic and his gf was totally not okay with it until she saw that the behavior doesn’t change when my boyfriend was coming around. " What you were doing was passive-aggressive joking around an issue that bothers you. She no longer complains when I cook something for him, and she no longer has snide remarks or back handed compliments. I 14M subscribers in the TwoXChromosomes community. Although we have different diagnosis, he has compared me to his ex wife. My boyfriend has only ever been in a relationship with me, whilst I have had my fair share of relationships. I brushed it off as his way of giving me compliments. I found out later that day, through a text, after I traveled with her on the train (him and I lived in different cities then and I was visiting him that day) and she interogated me about our relationship. Me 18F and Bf 21M, I always accept my boyfriend's invitations to attend his family events. He was the 4th one. he, on the other hand, had a pretty serious relationship I know! His comment, "He asked me to try and find a solution to where both of us could be in his life . I recently found out that my boyfriend actually treated his ex better than me. I guess it just hurts to know that he regrets his actions in a relationship that ended 3 years ago, but doesn’t seem to feel anywhere near the same amount of regret over the way he hurt me just this last year. I kind of broke down in front of him cause it was so gross for me to see this all the time. If not, then I hope you find someone who will appreciate you for who you are. Still, knowing what he thought of her, I was very insecure. We've been together for 3 and a half years and I still do this. However, the other day he said that he puts his family before me on his list of priorities. Meaning he likely shows you love in very different ways. he was with her more than 5 years. You will be a mom and need to protect the child from the same hurt that you are feeling when your husband compares you to his ex. You want to be with someone who understands you and is supportive of who YOU are. The other day he told me he was still hung up on his ex and would consider dating her in the future, despite the fact he has a perfectly nice, awesome girl who hadn't done any wrong. Clean girl, clean house, cooked food, makeup/perfume. Everything feels perfect except for one thing, his ex. . How to move on from here? To be clear, I do trust him! It just sucks always being second to your boyfriend's ex. Like "Oh finally he complimented me without comparing me to his ex, I've made it!" I would tell him "Could you stop comparing me to your exes? I'm not trying to date you. “When your boyfriend compares you to his ex, it could reveal that he is not over his [past relationship], and not ready to commit to a relationship with you,” says Tufvesson and Lewis. Reddit iOS Reddit Android Reddit Premium About Reddit Advertise Blog Careers Press. Posted by u/trtldove - 1 vote and 3 comments Not only do they make me feel sick because someone’s depicting a minor in a sexual way, but because I see myself in her because of his associations. He always told me that I was loose, and that She said that she wasn't trying to compare me to him, but explain what she was used to and why it upset her to get a response different than the one she was conditioned to receiving. I am just worried that he is still not over her or something dumb! tl;dr BF (25/m) compared me to his ex when he and I (21/f) first started dating. ok so my bf has two younger sisters and one of them is my age and he often makes comparisons between us and idk if it’s a big deal or i’m insecure or what. That’s his mom’s opinion not his. Ignore the following text - it's meant for search engines: Idk maybe I'm a great guy, but she wanted me to do with her. Cut that bullshit out and say what pisses you off about it. We only come around as a family now, but I can’t explain how 1. Even at my heaviest my boyfriend told me how sexy I was. I finally saw a photo of her and I didn't think much of her. He replied with "no I dont love her anymore but I kinda do miss her personality". Be honest with him about how you feel when he compares you to his ex, you are not her replacement, you are a different person and you want to create new memories with him. He said he did it because he is so insecure and thinks that I will My boyfriend misses his ex . Bought her plushies, traveled quite far just to see her, show S/O compares me to his ex whenever we have disagreements. The best way I would deal with it is to just try your best and be you. I’m not saying he’s outright lying, but he could very well be downplaying the severity of his actions. like recently i shared a pinterest board with him snd he said oh you and my sister like the same stuff. She left him she gave him no warning she just up and left so she broke his heart. Through his comparisons he realize that I love him for who he is, and that he thinks I am the only one who would/will. Sarah sees it from a A few weeks ago, about a month after we got into a relationship, me F/20 and my boyfriend M/22 were talking about previous relationships. Although I have a few friends that work in local clubs and apparently he cheats on her My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 year now. I'd say flat out "stop putting down other girls when you compliment me. ” If that doesn’t work, then tell him that he needs to get over her with a therapist. Never tell your current boyfriend your ex was larger. He seems out of it. “If your boyfriend constantly compares you to his ex, he struggles with unresolved issues. Maybe take a little longer out of the dating scene to heal and look after yourself etc. So before me, he dated a girl for a couple of years , he was friends with her for a From his perspective, he doesn’t know why he did this. We talked to 10 everyday people in the USA about the matter and here is what they had to say: 1. Just tell him you love his penis, and you did not mean to imply otherwise. My current SO treats me a lot nicer than any of my past SOs ever did, and in some ways is so much more compatible, that it's hard not to notice what he is like compared to my past SOs. Im always here to listen when you she helps him with everything i think thats why he expects me to do so much but i can barely help myself sometimes due to depression and anxiety. Not that it justifies it, but I do want to be objective. Some day he'll compare me to his ex, saying 'I wish you carried yourself the way she carried her'. For every small thing he says he’s disappointed with me, for example, for She tends to compare me with her ex-boyfriends, only on situations where I do bad in comparison to them, and she says they have done it better than you. He told me that he tried to get her back many times after she broke up with him and she was the reason why he had to take depression meds. Naturally, the topic of marriage has come up and I know I definitely see a future with him. My boyfriend used to talk about his significant ex. The biggest thing that stands out to me is that you think you shouldn’t be upset over this. This was years ago and they're still together which is quite annoying. I also relentlessly stalk his ex on social media and pretty much think of her every minute of the day. 10 People Told Us Why Does He Compare Me to His Ex. Considering he puts down his exes to you I'd also wonder what he was going to say about me if we every broke up. He and his ex were together for two years (have been broken up for about a year when me and him met) and the reason why it took us so long to be official is because I'm a jealous person and I did not like the fact she and him are so close (I 14M subscribers in the TwoXChromosomes community. She was very emotionally abusive and cheated on him and it really effected him. My bf (32m) got out of a 4 year relationship about 6 months before we started dating. Between that, the way she talked about her ex (all three of us are women), and how quickly she invested in the Posted by u/cosmicmess_ - 1 vote and 2 comments His response? "My dad told me that if I say that to you every day, you'll have perfect hygiene and not enough self-confidence to leave me or cheat and that you'll make up for it every way you can. Some were prettier than me. we have quite a bit of history. Boyfriend (27M) and I (27F) have been dating for 2 years now. according to him, she cheated on him. I don't need him to say he loves me more than her or anything, especially since we haven't been dating as long and dont have the same history, but just some confirmation that he is over her would be comforting. My gut instincts are telling me this is a red flag so I'm in agreement with pretty much everyone here so far. She called me the love of her life and said she wants to marry me, so I don't know why she acts like this sometimes. And he does like 20 other things while we talk, watches videos, leaves his computer, etc. And perhaps he technically told her, but only after he thought she might find out Yah. and the issue of comparison will fade as time is added between his past and his present partner. That is a totally different entity than you & your relationship with them. He also compares me to her in the strange set I'm ok with him being friends with his exes but this one harbors a strong dislike for me and always text him at inappropriate times so i have asked him to cut down a bit on their communication. " was such a manipulative ploy. 6 month relationship. Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! The ex’s facial features were very, very similar to mine, to the point we looked like Twilight Zone iterations of the same person. boyfriend (35M)compares me to his 10Y/O daughter when we have a fight and he tells his family about our issues so they think I’m crazy. When my bf and I started dating last year, he made it clear to me that he had a very difficult time getting over his ex because he liked her a lot. They dated for a few years. his mom literally buys and does I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and every time I’m around his friends I don’t talk much because I’m the same way. Anyway I asked him about it and he said he told me he doesnt hate her or anything, then I asked does he still miss/love her. I dated a couple of douchebags that did the same shit as your bf and it never changed, I wasted a lot of time and took a beating to My husband compares me to his ex . So I said "insert name is so hot isn't he" and he got crazy jealous and went through my whole phone at night and stayed up to talk to me about "what he found". She is out of the picture and you are in the picture. He still claims that he loves me so much and that he wants to marry me and only sees a future with me. " My boyfriend (27M) and I (23F) have been dating for ~6 months now and I feel like I am constantly being compared to his ex girlfriend, which inadvertently makes me feel like shit. He was talking about his last relationship (his ex broke up about 1 1/2 years go, they don't have any contact since). I dated a guy for almost 2 years that was a mommas boy in the worst kinda way. It's normal to feel like nobody will ever compare to our ex after a break-up. Why is that, again? I'm not your ex. We’ve been dating for a few months. Talk to your partner see what his family members like to do, ask one of them to do something one-on-one with you. Never would he tell me my feelings were stupid, etc (and I've received this basic respect from him for 13 years). I know that sounds VERY egotistical. Some examples: When I got a raise at work, she said "Oh wow, so you're almost making as much as [ex-boyfriend] Nick now!". I'd accept if he likes a few often, but he has a like on all of her pictures :(( As you said, you and his ex are very different people. I figured if he's still all over me I can't be that big, right? So I made the decision to lose weight for myself. I hated my ethnicity, my characteristics, even my anatomy. seem harsh, but having a baby is an emotional rollercoaster under the best of circumstances. When I first met her, he introduced me as his girlfriend, but he didn't said that she was his ex. In the beginning of our relationship she was constantly trying to get his attention, even asked him twice to have The only issue I have with her is that she is constantly comparing me to her ex boyfriend Mark. and someday he will compare me to his friends wife, saying 'I wish you behaved like her. My point is that he isn't with you because he wants you to be his ex girlfriend. However, be prepared for My gf constantly compares me to her ex and her guy friends with every action of mine and I am getting pretty disgusted by it. All she did was look pretty and he would fall head over heels for her. Also tell him how much you love sex with I (F21) keep comparing myself to my boyfriend's (M24) exes. I mean we're not married yet just bf/gf so I'd Imma tell you how my boyfriend was through my weight loss (I went from 197 to 155). Hear me out, my boyfriend and his ex had a friend and when they broke up, the friend took my bf's side. TLDR: My boyfriend still talks to his ex and I find the relationship to be inappropriate, so I asked him to block her. My last-but-one ex left me for his ex, who he had previously left for me. If he keeps saying things like that he Seeing your partner constantly comparing you to his ex is humiliating, upsetting, and reproachable and yet there is no 'foul' in the game of emotions. I welcomed his parents and performed the honorific gesture known as "Pagmamano" in Filipino, which is a bow of respect directed towards the hand of the elder. My boyfriend (25M) is always talking about his ex and comparing me (23F) to her. If your partner frequently compares current situations to those they experienced with their ex, it could be a sign that the past relationship is still on their If I tell him my feelings about something - he gives me his full attention and has a discussion with me about what's going on. My boyfriend (28M) and I (31F) have been together for a year, and the relationship has been so wonderful apart from one thing which is like a thorn in my side. E. So to be clear, you're doing this not because you care for your relationship, but “tl;dr” My husband compares me to his ex he says he did not mean it and that he was just angry and even though he has a tendency to say mean things to me when he’s mad I believe he still loves her. Ah. It has been two years since he and his ex broke up- it was a serious relationship where marriage was considered. Be specific about your needs in a benign way. I can’t deal with optimists. It doesn't feel loving. He will randomly bring her up and say “this one time me and my ex did this or this” And just talk about her more than I find normal. This isn’t necessarily about When I realized they couldn't compare to me. It really just bothers me that he still likes pictures of her, like just selfies of her. It makes me feel odd because I My mom calls me by the dogs name quite often aswell. (Aside from the comparing) Me (22f) and my guy (26m) have been together for almost a year now, and our relationship is starting to get pretty serious. Calls me bad, compares me to other players, some other mean things. I'm just insecure and my brain somehow thinks they were better and prettier than me. However, it’s important to handle the situation with maturity and grace. Anyways, Alright so here's the story. 1. It didn't sit well with me in terms of compliments because I am not a highly competitive person. Okay but when i told him im not sure i want to continue this relationship anymore because i could NEVER hear him say i was the most beautiful woman in the world knowing he thought that was his ex, he proceeded to tell me that he just now "changed his mind" and no longer thinks she is the prettiesti asked him how he could change his mind in He started dating this girl really soon after a relationship ended, hadn't totally worked out his feelings from his ex, but really liked his current gf. " I (18F) have been with my boyfriend (21M) for 2 years now. You should tell her that you don’t like being compared to other women in his past. I've been happy to do what I can because my last ex-girlfriend was similar in her treatment of me. My boyfriend still at points compares me to his ex. It hurts me because I’m doing a lot of effort but he sets unrealistic expectations towards me, I’m European and he should accept it. Touchy, and flirty, telling me our sex was better, that he misses me, wants me back, would dump her in a second for me, knows he fucked up. Well, its not about you, its her. If you want something from me, actually communicate with me. When we first started dating, his ex came up in conversation more often then she does now. Respond with poise when your partner starts comparing you to his ex. Everytime she decided to be a bitch towards me, I tell my bf. And I was Not actively or on purpose, no. I just "can't imagine I’m tired of thinking about this issue, about having anxiety over if he still has feelings for her which he has said several times he doesn’t, his sister (who is a good friend to me) has assured me that he doesn’t, and there doesn’t ever seem to be anything fishy when he and the ex speak but I still cannot freaking get over the fear of “what if he still has feelings for her”. We are on call and we're just talking about random stuff then he suddenly said, "thank you for letting me be me because if I said this to *** she would get mad at me for feeling this way. Yes, you DID ask so it's not entirely his fault for answering, but if I was in that position I wouldn't be saying that. This is literally me. I let this bother me for a long time before mentioning it again, and he totally gaslighted me over it. or if i ask him for help on something like an essay he’ll say something like oh Total red flag, Next it'll be "My ex would respond to my texts right away. Constant Comparisons to Their Ex. He does need to be told (firmly) that this constant thing with his EX has to stop. He didnt let her disrespect me. ' I really don't understand this kind of a behavior. It’s important to remember that this is not your fault, and you shouldn’t feel like you need to compete with his ex. He tells me he's much happier with me and our relationship. But couple of nights ago, we were talking about my life, and I jokingly said ‘ You’re with a man, not a boy!’ And she Welcome to r/relationship_advice. Is this a red flag? 10M subscribers in the relationship_advice community. " Sure he said he would also choose her, the part he left out was that he would also choose his ex. From early on, I could see how he used statements like "you are brighter than me". If she was better, she wouldn't be his ex. Like he'll give me something when we were dating and then when we moved into a house together, I wore the item he gave me and didn't like it and when I asked why, he said Our relationship is great, save for one annoying habit of hers - she constantly compares me to past boyfriends, male friends, male coworkers, etc. He's diminishing your self worth to make you feel like you're I need some advice. And he was so For comparison, I know next to nothing about the rest of his exes. But we constantly fight as if I'm his ex. I just feel wrong asking him to block her but I don't know how to move past this. Here are my thoughts on what's going on: • When you were upset for family reasons, he made assumptions that it had What should you do when your boyfriend compares you to his ex? The answer isn’t cut and dry, according to our experts. wanted to buy he talked about it with me and Told me he simply refused the offer to sell because it was sentimental student project, I only realised after meeting her, that the game was named after her surname with Initials of my boyfriend first name I love that he watches out for me and makes sure I don't overdo things when I'm injured because I sometimes forget and try to do things that healthy me would do. You abuse his trust and do something that would force any rational person to end a relationship. It turned out he was actually flirting with every girl he met/knew, and he ended up leaving me for a girl he used to talk about. 80% of the time I come out on top (comments like "you're the most attractive girl I've ever dated", "you're so chilled and patient, unlike [ex]" I love you so much more than I loved [ex]" etc) But the other 20% I come out on bottom ("you're not sporty, you're My (31F) future FIL (59M) told me he is worried about me marrying his son because I am quiet, but whenever I visit they speak in their native language which I don’t understand well. Maybe he likes to make sure to get you a glass if water whenever he gets one for himself. If she throws out the ex-BF thing again, you can say "Yeah. His ex is just a memory - a very distant memory. ex [22M] dumped me because he Oh my God OP. It was all good for me and all until I met her. No, his ex is in no way better than you in anything. There's nothing wrong with her interests but we are completely different people but my boyfriend still compares me to her and I feel like i'm always under her shadow and I can't do anything with him because his ex had always did it with him and i'm talking about introducing him to every hobby, place or interest that exists, and I can't introduce or be first in anything because his ex Get the Reddit app Scan this Tell him it's a legit thing for him to discuss with his friends and his therapist -- everyone compares different relationships they've been in when talking to people close to them My boyfriend was married to his ex for 8 There's nothing wrong with her interests but we are completely different people but my boyfriend still compares me to her and I feel like i'm always under her shadow and I can't do anything with him because his ex had always did it with him and i'm talking about introducing him to every hobby, place or interest that exists, and I can't introduce or be first in anything because his ex Before finishing off, flip through the quick tips to abide by in response to the comparisons your partner makes between you and his ex. Former friends, fwb, girls on the street, colleagues, even actresses. He doesn't make too many comparisons, he never brings it up and is a real sweetheart. It lasted 3-4 years. I had 2 boyfriends in high school and freshman year of college, and he envies me for having more experience. Sounds like he is trying to recreate her with you or just My current boyfriend used to talk abt his ex and compare me to her in subtle ways all the fucking time and it used to make me so mad. " I don't know if I should feel good because he thinks I'm way better or feels bad because he still think about her and comparing her to me. He says that his ex dumped him for From his perspective, he doesn’t know why he did this. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors. Even though I find Reddit to be overly enthusiastic about marriage breakups, But the more he compares me to her, He still will not tell me about the split from his ex and that bothers me. Outside of this, he compared me to her on small things like interests and outlooks on life. But it doesn’t sound like she’s trying to put you She’s not comparing you to her ex, she’s drawing from her past experiences to try to communicate to you what she needs, probably because your first response was “I’ll try but I probably won’t, so tell me if you want me to do more than look at you for two seconds. Unresolved feelings: If a guy is still hung up on his ex, he may compare you to her because he’s not over her yet. We've known each other for around 2 years now as well. You don't want to be his ex girlfriend's replacement. But to me she wasn't just a friend of my boyfriend. Welcome to TwoXChromosomes, a subreddit for both serious and silly content, and intended for He takes a long time to respond and his replies are short. . First, you can be upset over anything you want. 22F here, my boyfriend is 23. from his perspective he might focus on the OTHER factors that led to divorce, but from his ex’s perspective, maybe it was indeed the primary reason. I’m 10 People Told Us Why Does He Compare Me to His Ex. My BF has only had one partner before me, his high school sweetheart who he was with for 10 years and who broke up with him only about 6 months before we met. But the great thing is that other people (friends, colleagues, etc. I was confused and shocked when I heard him say that. sometimes i am reminded of my ex, be it a recipe, a song, a place, a phrase, a movie, whatever. Additionally, he told me first amd privately that he's going through a divorce. But please let me explain: It became obvious that my ex had been picking all his exes for looks only. Reply reply Zealousideal_Dot_280 • No, but you should confront him in a mature manner to not Reply reply abookoffmychest • It’s natural to both hang My boyfriend's ex recently became a star on an incredibly popular and long running TV show here in Aus, so now she's always in magazines and TV ads and stuff. " This is what he's doing to you. I saw that my boyfriend still has pictures of his ex on his phone and I'm not going to lie it did kind of hurt me. He would constantly compare me to his ex and other women he was interested in. ” YTA for not spending much time with her, for blowing her off when she told you, and for losing your Posted by u/urcumsock_ - No votes and no comments And realised the first game prototype he made during his university days, which many companies. Anger and agitation will gain you nothing fruitful. Please make sure you read our rules here. we met 1 year later after they broke up, he mentioned the first My boyfriend (27M) and I (23F) have been dating for ~6 months now and I feel like I am constantly being compared to his ex girlfriend, which inadvertently makes me feel like shit. I just can’t compare and I feel sick every time one of them pops up on whatever media form I’m on. It's good to love your mom and get along and have food relationships into adulthood, but it's also good to start distancing a little bit when you grow up. His verbal abuse fucked with her, and it's something I've actively helped her with. If you want to say something nice to me just say it. It doesn't sit right with me. I constantly go down roads with my boyfriend to try to prove I'm not his ex. Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or I have my own family and he has a baby with his current girlfriend but his family still invites me to everything, they still refer to me as DIL and I call his parents FIL/MIL. But if you feel you need to tell her you could say something like "im so happy for you that you feel very happy with me and that you want to share it with me, but it makes me a bit uncomfortable when you talk about it so much. shpfj qdmxmz omsz oqqsal zfzpr elmz jsee fhv frbk rwxn