I think i upset my friend Most notably, a new friend checked in to see if I could make dinner plans tonight. I’m sitting here going crazy in my own mind. She texts me back for a bit, and then ends the conversation by saying I First off honestly I can’t think of a lot of scenarios where I have attempted to bridge one friend group to another or that a friend has tried to invite me to another group, especially now that I am out of the early 20s house party stage. Someone broke into my car 4 consecutive nights, each time taking everything out of my middle console and glove box and throwing them on the ground. If she thinks it’s a good idea, you can be casual and "AITA for being upset by friend who has become close friends with my high school bully who palmed me in the face?" Here's the original post: I [25f] was severely bullied throughout middle school by Edward [24m]. We help each other to process our past trauma. we are 32 ffs that needs to stop. My friends hurt my bf’s feelings and my bf is mad at me? So this is what I was hoping to avoid but my bf and I are having a great relationship. While they were gone, my other friends thought me and my bf broke up because Mary was posting snaps and pictures from the trip and it looked like a couple’s trip with Mary and my bf and Mary’s friend and her bf. You're just projecting your annoyance on us there :) He got really upset when I said this, claiming that as my boyfriend, he shouldn't have to schedule in advance like he's making a doctor's appointment or something. last night she said she needed an “honest assessment” of one of her poems. I suspect if she'd been honest, this wouldn't have been a big thing. Normally, we go out and drink at the bar. Tbh I think his reaction is valid. To celebrate her exams, A came down this weekend. Their relationship was mostly fine but she couldn't support him in the way he needed (emotionally) and usually brushed everything off. While their reactions are different she is still a shitty friend for what she did. They even stole my backpack the first night. Coming from someone with a lot my friend is upset at me because I missed her calls while I was asleep . but some For the last 2 weeks I've had some rough home situations that gave me a lot of anxiety and stress and on Sunday it bubbled over. It doesn’t sound like a big deal. I hurt my friend and ruined my own life. ” “Stop overreacting. (She also cheated on him near the beginning of their I dont know what I should do and if I should try talking to him about it even though I know it will upset him. What happened was, a few days ago, I wasn't in the best place mentally and honestly physically as well (because i was sick) so i was asleep for longer and woke up only at 2pm and pretty much just cried all day. I’m still friends with one of them, I think. It can be tough to listen to someone talk badly about you, even when it's true. I do tell a few of my close family members and very close friends about everything I am going through I have been dating my girlfriend for about a year and a half now (she’s 23 and I’m 24) and it seems like every time I want to hang out with some of my guy friends she gets very upset. You said you were 'so upset' about it, that's a bit self-indulgent really! And they’re a great friend. I am however I think I truly hurt her feelings and when she’s sad it comes out as anger that’s why she blocks me she would rather just not deal with it. We spoke about it however she's not upset about me reporting back to her but at the fact that it sounds like I was gossiping about her, I honestly wasn't I thought me throwing out "idk" "ask My friend decided to side with me in an unexpected turn. I think maybe she's more mad at the friend for dating her ex than at the ex for moving on. 14. He has always been a reserved person that doesn’t talk about his own personal feelings which I think is fine. None of you meant any harm and both of you are hurt. You may feel like you’re walking on eggshells, not wanting to say the wrong thing Hearing Them Out Download Article Ask your friends to meet up. She’s a sister to me, I have no desire to date her as far I can tell. My only relationship I didn’t feel like this was a little out of the normal (we never lived together, it was long distance for half of it, he was extremely religious and wanted to save his virginity til he was married). I've also not seen my friends as much since we started dating but I still feel like I should be able to have my own What hurts my feelings is that as a best friend of over 25 years that she didn't at least talk to me about it. but idk why i get this feeling in my chest like i feel upset or get sad when hes out with his friends. Example 1: We were out at dinner before going to see a TLDR; My friend gets upset when I hang out with other friends without her and it's making me resent her, how do I approach the subject with her? Archived post. I did not write, “The OP is 100% irrational. I get so upset thinking I didn’t think through it enough. lately we've been sending each other poems we've written and pictures we've drawn. One of my best friends forgot to wish me a happy birthday. It Hi Redditors, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. 5 months and we've had a lot of issues. People who know me are totally confused by this since they know I smile a lot and can tell a lot from my voice. I feel upset because I feel like life is short and I don’t think her life is that stressful and it just seems off. I was a bit scared, so I started frantically texting her. She doesn’t have too many other friends and I think she doesn’t want to lose me. " I told my friend that was condescending and rude, and he said, "I'm not really interested in hearing what 14-year-olds think is annoying. Continue browsing in r/Advice It helped me to think of it like this: "if I am upset, there is a high chance of it being because of a real problem" (because while I crave a lil drama from time too time, what I truly strive for is harmony and I'm usually introspective enough to realize if it's nothing/my own fault/circumstantial ) -> "if I don't address this upset feeling in anyway, I'm actively harming/sabotaging my I used to think I'm a good friend but I realise that I've hurt all my friends at least once and I still hurt them. He got extremely angry and argumentative, saying that I didn't appreciate my friends, saying that an old friend who had said that I was a 'terrible friend' who only used him as a last resort activity was right about things, trying to get me to allocate my time (literally suggesting I spend one day with gf and one day with my friends and alternate, or to get her out of the way in the morning Sometimes, we think our friends are mad at us when they really aren’t. Jul 24. I've done my best to apologize and clarify the situation in a letter, to take accountability, and to not bother her anymore afterward, but I feel awful because for the first time in my life, I've lost a friend this way (before, certain friends would naturally drift apart due to time, I'm lucky that I've never had a fall-out with a friend that ended a friendship). Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Maybe they ended a romantic relationship, lost their job, lost a loved one, etc. we watched eurovision together, we always talk about worthy topics, we try to help each other. It does It happens. My boyfriend and I got up and told Matthew to let us know when he has a backbone. Pushing a friend to talk before they feel ready can often ba When a friend is upset, whether if they’re upset with you or something else, it can be difficult to know what to say to calm them down. But after a little bit of time, things went back to normal as I really value him in my life. I felt uncomfortable pushing back. Friendships Met her a year ago and the way I hurt her is basically she always being there for me, always wanting to chat, but I was too busy with my other friends who just felt more interesting to me (I dont know why) she was lonely but I had many friends, not spending much time with her I think you need to have He immediately got upset because I get upset with him for constantly talking about how he thinks women are horrible heartless gold digging monsters, and how could I not also be equally as upset with her. I mean, I have adhd, my friend has adhd, and I still get mad at him for not paying attention. I don’t think so. I definitley think like you said looking into getting new friends is a must She gets upset when I talk to girls around my age. Prior, he was in a two year long relationship. It really touched me, she told me everything, what was she saying about me, what happened with her husband etc. 99% of the time your friend needs a great big hug, an arm around the shoulder, or a gentle pat on the hand. She is just like my sister. She claims I’m jealous but I’m just addressing the elephant in the room. i act dry in texts and i just come up with an excuse that i want him to spend time with his friends So my(F26) friend Kay( F26) has been dating Andrew( M25) for almost a year now. I said something along the lines of “ hey did you think I upset Andrew by taking the tea when I asked him to get me popcorn, I hope I didn’t come off rude. I'm going to uni in september and I started rambling about my fears of drifting and whether people would still care. 4. I asked if he was going to go with this one girl because the previously made plans to go but it fell through. If your friend isn't happy with you being you then she isn't much of a friend. I unfortunately did use the words boring and directionless and realized like five seconds later that I absolutely should not have done that (mostly because everyone was yelling My brother said, "No offense, but sometimes you can be kind of annoying. I think sometimes people lie about not remembering drunk deeds, but I truly do not remember kissing him at all. Hi everyone, To cut to the chase, my girlfriend is upset that one of my friends did not invite her to his birthday party (just a few drinks in a local pub). After my curiocity was fullfilled, I really forgot about my ex, this giant weight lifted from my shoulders, like I was born again, first time I felt weightless in my entire life. Controversial get a little upset when plans get cancelled, especially if it happens within a couple of days of the planned event. She likes my friends and What You Should Avoid Saying When Your Friend is Upset. TL;DR: I offended my friend, she got upset; her boyfriend asked me not to speak to her: I felt really bad and wanted to make it right so I didn't for about a week; finally she asked to speak with me, at which point we talked i apologized, she accepted my apology and things were seemingly going to be ok; then her boyfriend got really angry at me for talking to her, even tho she was I stood there, frustrated, sad and on the verge of tears. We share many of the same arcane interests so we get along well. I know she's upset but she won't admit it but I still feel punished for it. We are pretty close but lately the decisions she's been making are pretty big and involve her car, her wedding, and her job. You need to look after number 1, because no one else does. Top. ” Then Kay told me something really disturbing, how during this conversation Andrew and Sarah started joking about Kay being a But I only ever hurt myself. And there's definitely people who are like that. ” — Abi T. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: The action I took was that I told my best friend that I was upset that she could not let me borrow $5 and she got mad and thinks I should apologize i care about my boyfriend and i love seeing him happy. And if they honestly see a problem, then there I dont know what I should do and if I should try talking to him about it even though I know it will upset him. We usually we have a very close bond, but every so often she becomes very flaky. TW: mention of blood and possible death Right so obviously I don’t suffer from DID but I have friends who do and I think I really upset one of my friends who suffers from DID cuz the other night no one was fronting and like I didn’t know that could happen so I tried to talk about it to him cuz idk my brain finds the littlest of things interesting and when I hyper focus (I have adhd) I can’t My friend makes me incredibly sad and anxious. I was afraid that if I confronted her about what I overheard ide get too upset. You’re Needy. I’ve never personally experienced feeling this way, but my best friend who probably also has BPD (she’s undiagnosed, I’m diagnosed) used to do this with me back in high school (we’ve been best friends for 16 years now), to the point where she’d actually get mad at me for talking to other friends. Kim Kardashian Doja Cat Iggy Azalea Anya Taylor-Joy Jamie Lee Curtis Natalie I told her it was no worries and it was my fault for staying up but I don’t think I could hang with her b4 2pm that day cuz I’ll either be sleeping or tired. About a week later she calls me apologising for forgetting and then asked if I wanted to celebrate my birthday with a dinner. I want to know whether my feelings are justified, whether or not I should block my housemate and maybe some advice on how to overcome these feelings. Right around the same time, my boyfriend passed away. I always tell her to wait and see if something better comes along but she always takes the first thing that comes up without thinking it through. Then everything became normal again. No one gets creeped out or hurt. I didn't do anything bad actually, but she is upset until today. It was just us two there). Please avoid saying these kinds of words to your friend when they’re upset. Just over a year ago his wife left him. My girl friend and I had a laugh about what a totally bizarre way to hit on someone that was and that was that. I’m upset my friends didn’t tell me they’re in town . My friend group has drove one of my friends out of it and he ended up leaving because all they would do is bully him and make fun of him and his family. All went to different schools last year, one friend moved away 2 hours so we rarely see each other anymore. Gaming is my version of “me time” and my way of stress management, but she seems to think that it means she’s not good enough to help me feel better. We don’t see eye to eye on anything and neither one us will budge. throwaway67584920383 • I try to pay attention to my tone and I think I'm good at making it even most times. Hey all. It is different to social anxiety which can make you anxious in social situations due to thinking Please be mindful that your friends have feelings as well. Picking Fights With Loved Ones “Picking fights with my partner and then becoming frantic due Apologize to his face. My I think I just upset a friend a bit and I feel disgusting. I think most people deal with similar feelings. For example: my boyfriend texted me last night saying he was going on a hike with his friend at 8am today. Mind you, I was exhausted and not in the right state of mind. I have little to no appetite, I constantly feel a pit in my stomach & i’m constantly upset. He's really sweet and a nice person. I’ve found that some of my coworkers are becoming my great friends. She gets off of work at 8:30pm so I thought maybe at the latest she would be done by 10:30 or 11 cuz that was like a good 2 Regardless I’m so hurt she was invited to my good friends birthday but if she’s invited to the wedding too I truly don’t think I can look at my friend the same way. I thought it would be funny but didn't think before I spoke. 3rd friends confirms that when I told them about the conversation right after it happened, I didn't mention the thing my Today my friend and I were together, and she said she promised she was going to work with me for a school project. " The same day my friend dm me and said that i did something wrong and that she cant forgive me not telling me why. These are all unhealthy things of various sorts but it all revolves around my being upset by certain aspects of my relationships. Her friend told her that I had been shit talking behind her Omg, you know what's funny my friend and I decided to do the same since both of us always initiate with other friends and haven't messaged them in about a week as of now and so far what I have discovered is only a friend messages back just to u know say hello and maybe a minute or two then off while the rest only messaged when they needed something, I felt I should be For most of my adult life after collage, it caught my attention that the friends that ended up sticking with me and the new friends l made were usually neurodivergent of some sort. Two weeks ago my friend and I went to a night market and today he said he was going to go again. Then at Christmas last year his mom passed away. Thank you for your feedback. Hey, my future so planned this and excluded people she didn't know. Whenever the three of us hang out together I kinda feel like I’m just a third wheel. Because of some reasons we fought sometimes. Ask what you did wrong and try to fix it by correcting whatever the perceived slight was. You know your body best. She sent me this super formal e-mail about this extracurricular activity we do after work and I went up to her and said "what's up ms. That would hurt me too. I have plenty of friends but I tend to attract extroverts as friends and I think sometimes that turns me off from the friendship after a while. I never see my sister anymore because her bf and I hate each other. My friends and I are very emotionally honest with each other so if they're upset then they honestly see a problem. I do want to convey to her that me getting back with my ex isn’t going to change my friendship to her at all Aibu because I think I upset my friend 26 replies veanirweather · 01/10/2023 22:23 I’m very close to my due date and friend checks in every other day to ask how I am or she’ll say I’m definitely in labour etc. No, it's not just that. And there’s this other friend Sammy and they’re really great, and Sammy and my friend have a closer relationship. Around about the middle of the week I get back to the apartment to my friend reading out a message from another on of her friends about me. So, now, we were both grieving over this loss while Advice: One of my friends becomes upset if I do not take her advice or tell her everything about my life and I feel guilty about it, but I don’t think I’m wrong. I'm not attracted to her for a few reasons, foremost of which is her temper. This may seem like the bad guy's POV here, and I think I'm about to sound very immature, but I just gotta get this off my chest. There's two reasons why: one, something bad might happen. his friends are a part of his life. She still kept it from you. so im friends with two people, we'll call them Spencer and Marcus. and i would never try to take him away from them. They would both tell me I was being jealous or “crazy” and they were just friends. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I think I may be the asshole because I let my jealousy over my bestfriends attention take control and sent him a rather rude message, leading him to not come to my im so scared and terrified and worried right now. We are still very close and I talk to almost daily. She mistrusts men and now even me. I try to find out why they're upset. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: The action I took that must be judged is starting a fight with my friend over her not punishing her son. " My friend said, "You're 14, so I don't really care what you think. Choose a place where you First of all, consider your words and actions and determine if they warrant an apology. I think you've done what you could. I absolutely loathe phone calls, though. Abbey, I think you and your friend are both over-reacting. Later in the night when we were all together again after the show my friend told everyone the story. Then I toppled her wedding cake But the more I think about it, the more I’m sure it was an accident. im much closer with spencer than i am with Marcus. Reply reply 4gotWhyIwalkedInHere • 100% agree. Written By Stop It Now! Info. I think the best way to describe her is: over dramatic. Best. Its more of a respect thing in my opinion. Fast forward, I get out the marriage and they all welcome me back with as much support and mental health care as friends could give. I even confirmed with a 3rd friend, because when we had the interaction in question I could tell it upset them, and I didn't know why, so I immediately went and relayed it to another friend to ask that other friend's opinion. Most of the others That's why I actually get very upset when my plans to go out with friends are cancelled. But he is always here listening to me and even giving me advice during some of my darkest times and I appreciate him so much. Show them some love. I've got my own flaws too and that's ok, it's just about being To give my example, my friend group did the same thing to me after high-school. You can't treat your ex and your friend's boyfriend the same way. Celebrity. So I sort of tore it to shreds. Reply reply I also like to see my friends on occasion and even to gasp take some time for myself to reddit, paint, write, etc. My friend is pregnant and I think it is bad But, I think you shoudnt talk with this dude, your friend is naive but he is taking adavantage of that naivette, and obviously is a shit person to his wife aaand is "emotionally cheating" his wife with you, he just keeps taking with you because he thinks there is a possibility to fuck you. She said she needed to focus on herself and that sometimes she’ll ghost everyone for a while. I was upset my friend was getting married. hello, i have a friend. r/TrueOffMyChest Brief context ( she still lives with her ex and my brother and his friend were pressing me about it at work basically wanting to know if she's still in a relationship ). We're very friendly towards each and much like best friends for the majority of time. Who knows? Long Time Admin * August 10, 2011 at 8:38 am. As soon as it’s not productive be done. We all had exams recently, the friend who moved away (A) finished Friday, I finish monday. And also how they would say things like how they want to kind of sort of ‘play’ with someone’s feelings of interest in them when they know that person has an interest in them, just because they were bored. I mean, it will no longer just be an ex, it will be my friend's boyfriend. I am just very frustrated by the fact that I am not able to understand why my friend was upset at me and also how I felt like they were trying to blame me for making them upset. You said you were 'so upset' about it, that's a bit self-indulgent really! Think: Did you just get out of a breakup and are confusing the comfort of platonic love for a replacement for the connection you’ve lost? Do you like their company the same as any friend, or do you imagine being more intimate with them? Take your time to answer these questions and see how your feelings develop (or fade out). I think I made my friend uncomfortable. However I have now arranged to see someone else tomorrow and texted my friend to say I'm busy after all. Do I just let it run its course or do I talk to him about it even though it will probably upset him? I feel upset about my boyfriend being friends with his ex girlfriend [new] I (23F) and My boyfriend (25M) have been dating for about 5 months now. As the title states, my best friend of almost 2 years is upset I got back together with my ex. My fiance got really quiet and was kind of standoffish the rest of the My friend group: 4 of us, all 17f. He’s a great partner. She begins to ignore text messages, cancel plans, make excuses etc, and just expects me to be okay with it. I think what has happened is your friend has a social circle and therefore has alot of events happening. I feel like I want to be myself and do what I love, but it seems like she’s just pushing me to be the person she wants me to be. I've never hurt my husband except for a very random time. “I think being upset about someone applying for a job you turned down is 100% irrational behavior. She told me the next day after she had My friends and I bicker, bother each other, and joke around all the time. Sort by: Best. With a day’s space and perspective, I realized I shouldn’t be worried about this. It's saying, my bad that I made you feel this way, or, I did not want to upset you and I have and I apologize for doing that. I tried explaining that she isn't my boyfriend and she also wasn't talking about my gender to me. Now he’s thinking that I have feelings for the I think "I'm sorry I upset you" is okay, because it acknowledges that the fault is with the person apologizing. Reply reply More replies. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more About 3 weeks ago, I noticed a shift in my two best friends energy around me, and I figured I would chalk it up to a bad week, but it continued, and eventually they stopped inviting me places, and I would see them posting about being with each other, and I was very confused, Panicked, I asked one friend we'll call her "jane. ” “Just let it go. They are so intrusive and I always feel so awkward and uncomfortable on the phone. Some friendships last a week, some months, others years and some if we are lucky enough forever. I’m dreading even going to her birthday party now the fact I’m going to have to deal with SIL being there and watching her befriend all our friends. He has many groups of friends and he tried to introduce me to them, but every time I hang out with his friends, I feel like an outsider, I don't know anything to talk to them, cannot catch up with their conversations. true. She lost most of her friends from college and she does not have many friends right now so she gets jealous when I hang out with them. There probably has been, and will be, a time in your life when a friend comes to you upset over something that has happened to them. When I was dating my husband, there were several times I suspected something going on and it actually caused a rift between my friend and I. I feel helpless to this feeling & I wasn’t even the one who went through it. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. I really feel this. She started to gnore me for 2 days not talking to me. Interrupting, My friend constantly asks for my advice and then never takes it. Many other friends and coworkers think that she has a crush on me or at least did in the past, and I often get the same feeling from her. UPDATE: I hope I’m allowed an update lol. Genuinely wondering if I should seek My BF (27m) is upset because I was venting to him about my friend breaking girl code of trying to date someone I used to talk to. A few times I've had people ask me or my friends why I never smile or why I always sound so monotone. formal" because I always joke with her on why she's being so formal with me even though we're friends. My children are on a You seem to be a nice person so this is not perhaps so much for you, but I actually met a guy who hurt me the most he's ever hurt anyone (his thoughtlessness to how his choices would impact me is in fact the biggest contributor to why I cannot trust or be with anyone and it's been 12 years - a fifth of my lifetime - and it was all so that he could move from one girl to another on long-term As far as the friend, I think the same goes for her even if she has changed. However, all i can think about is her going through that & imagining it just fills me with rage. He’s pretty heated, he said “why do you care and you have a BF” and I’m trying to explain to him it’s about respect sigh but he’s really not getting it. If they talk to someone else I assume they want to be their friend, not mine. It’s been this was since we met. but now my friends understand it and they are accommodating towards it instead of being annoyed. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Reply reply Dazzling-Health-5147 • Wow, seeing the I met my best friend when I was 12 when she moved next door. ” I stand behind that statement. i agreed. I think I focus too much on one friend and wear the friendship out. But if someone is purposefully riling you up when you're already vulnerable because they think it's funny, I would question if they actually had your interests at heart, or if they just want a comedy for themselves. 68 Likes, TikTok video from Mackenzy Bartolomei (@mackenzybartolomei): “I think i hurt my own feelings making this 🫢”. I understand, I do the same, and I still get mad for something is, at some point, out of his control. For me at least, I preferred meeting up 1 on 1 so I would be putting myself in a new situation with someone I have only interacted with 3 times before. It’s so horrific to think about & i can’t get it off my mind. I was anxious for a whole day the other day because I thought I upset my friend when I actually hadn’t. Aww you have had it bad Dee. You shouldn't have been snappy with the guys just because your mum texted you, your friend should have accepted your apology and moved on. It is perfectly normal to feel hurt when someone close to you chooses the company of others over you. But I cant forgive him for how he treated me and he feels betrayed by me because of what I did. They might feel upset about a situation they are dealing with and worry that reaching out could be too much for you. My boyfriend (M21) went on a trip with friends and didn’t tell me (F21) until a week before. We both take the same classes (chose which ones we were taking together) and we both work really hard to keep up with the school work. Moving on from high school I sort of lost my old group of friends and I’ve been trying to make new ones but idk how to make friends as a new adult. I like in-person conversations and I love texting. I think my I think I may be overreacting as I do feel a bit like crying most of the time at the moment in any case and was looking forward to seeing her. This might be a long post but I need some insight to see if I’m being unreasonable or if my boyfriend might be overreacting. Do I just let it run its course or do I talk to him about it even though it will probably upset him? Firstly, I'm on mobile and English isn't my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes. Basically, last night I went out to a nightclub with one of my girl friends, both of us are in a relationship so we were very careful with our behavior because sometimes guys at nightclubs think even looking their way means we’re interested. What if I accidentally hurt my friend's feelings when I don't think I did anything wrong? Community Answer. TLDR[update] We talked about 'the talking to girls' issues and it seems that her trust issues is way worse than I thought. We had a couple of things in common so we started sharing our thoughts. I’m making this post to see what people think of this. I think it’s unfair that I have to feel so hurt when they don’t. After the third night of this, I thought to myself, "Hey, I'll take everything out of the car, so when they break in, they will have nothing to throw around. Im always getting told about events happening and i always try to invite my friends to do stuff. Know that you did your part at least. Friends do that, that's completely normal. If it was done differently, I feel like it would be a completely different scenario. It’s silly and I have bigger things to worry about and be happy about. Do you ever get upset when your guy friends get into relationships? I'm a hetero guy, when my best friend (male) got a new gf, I wasnt necessarily upset, but I definitely mourned change in our friendship for a bit. she says there’s no way friends can date, then you just nod and say that’s good to know. Some things I realize now that I should have said: I think I've been depressed for a while now but I don't think it's my boyfriend's fault. Open comment sort options. It's not only your feelings that matter. This one I understand, but I always reassure her that it is unlikely. i see spencer as one of my BFFs since we just click and have the same sense of humor and we bounce off each other, while i see Marcus as someone i wouldn't mind hanging with every once in a while and Let's call her Eliza. You're not though. How hard is that to say Update two. Three weeks later my dad passed away. I definitely think that people are allowed to be upset. Home > Family & Relationships > I'm Really Worried I Have Upset My Friend?? I'm Really Worried I Have Upset My Friend?? abbeylee90 | 20: Tonight I went out with my friend for the rugby and we were chatting to these guys and my mum messaged me asking when I was I home and got abit snappy with the guys so my friend messaged me after saying she dint If my friends abandoned me when they got into a relationship and then came crying the second shit got bad I'd feel a way too though. But I don’t think we’re as tight as I thought we were. I regret it because I know it hurt people I care about. If I am upset with one of my friends , should I tell them ? advice I have a special freind who I really really like and I would never trade her for anyone else but lately for the past month she has been ignoring my texts , she would leave them on seen and doesn't reply, until this day she didn't , she also blocked me from seeing her stories ( I feel guilty because I feel it is my fault ) , but I am So I was talking to my friend at work today and we literally sit right next to eachother essentially. There is this one kid in my friend group that i despise as he is a bully and doesn’t think about others. I'm guilty of thinking my friends are faking, because of how it comes across. If he's only hurting her it sounds very weird. I doubt you aren’t talking after this. Maybe your friend just isn’t someone that you take out dancing, because it sounds like he’s not into Anyway, my friend asked us if we were enjoying the DnD game he was running, which I kinda wasn't. That's upsetting too. and ithat we would just be normal friends(we were reallly close friends). I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with her and usually if we're doing something together or with friends, I almost expect for her to come to me with an issue with something I did that hurt her feelings. tldr; I upset my friend and he told me thats hes gotten tired of “catering” to me and my clinginess and refuses to talk to me. You have every right to be upset. This is the thing, friendships and relationships are different and you can't think of them as being on par. I've hurt my friends feelings, need advice on repairing the friendship . How can I kindly let her know that I don’t trust her and that her advice isn’t warranted? I recently started seeing a new man. You told them to "be nice" during their vitriolic outburst, but you were 75 votes, 44 comments. Bachelor Sister Wives 90 Day Fiance Wife Swap The Amazing Race Australia Married at First Sight The Real Housewives of Dallas My 600-lb Life Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. I don't think your the same as my friend, you seem to care what your friend thinks, in my opinion that makes you worth knowing. The feeling of being ghosted or ignored by someone you considered a “true friend” can still hurt, even if you understand the cause. I met my ex wife and she was absolutely terrible for me. Things happen: Cakes fall, we run late Comment to, my biggest issue with all this is Lisa lying to you and her other friends. For example: "I'm sorry I embarrassed you in front of your friends by making a stupid joke at your expense. Not entirely, anyways. My best friend had called me earlier in the day and I didn't realise that I'd gotten a call from her My girlfriend gets extremely upset when I hang out with with my friends. Whereas if someone says, "I'm sorry you're upset" - then they are taking themselves out of the equation. I just think I'm too upset, whether reasonably or unreasonably, to have a nice time seeing her My (15F) friend (15F) is something else, mostly in a good way. Reply reply If my friend started dating my ex I would be upset as well. I messaged all of our friends in the group to let them know I’m keeping a distance from Matthew because of Jennifer. Reply reply Odd_Acanthaceae_5231 • I think, another thing I think my friends are upset at me for never answering their calls. Listen and stay calm. So just shut up and hold them-- you don't have to think of the perfect words So, I (14F) have accidentally really upset my friend (14F). – You could find yourself ghosted by all of Friendship anxiety means feeling insecure with your friends so that it impacts on your self esteem, wellbeing and relationships. He’s still my friend but at an arms length. ” I’m not I (22F) have been dating my boyfriend (30M) for almost 2 years. I think it's I have a friend that even after I apologized stopped being my friend and it was for the best I think, she likes to hold grudges forever even if it's not a big deal. If your friends aren't actually upset, they’ll probably explain why they might be acting distant while they share their feelings. ex. They couldn't stand seeing me hurt so they pushed me away. Maybe he sees you as a friend but you havent shown the value of the friendship. That could have been an issue. None – They might give you some insight as to why your friend is ignoring you, like telling you that you upset him/her, and offer some suggestions as to how you can make amends. “Calm down. And I felt And he shook his head and went back to his friend at the bar. shitty thing to do I know it's hard because your fear of making her sad is there but you should be honest with her I think what would hurt her more is her Friend 1 ( a guy friend, not the one upset with me ) and I wanted to hang out, as we both are trying to be more social in our lives. That being said, it is also perfectly normal for someone to want to The issue is that when I mention that I am hanging out with a friend on a certain night she becomes passively upset with an abrupt change in tone in her text messages and it becomes a thing. The more constructive thing would be to talk to your friend — not strangers on the internet — and ask them about it. I showed the note to my friend from rock climbing and he had a hard time seeing One day a close friend of mine stopped talking to me. Actions speak louder than words, and they're a lot easier to get right. " I met this man at work. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. However, the key is to not get defensive or angry here. When I came to realize she was hurt I asked for forgiveness a lot of times. My boyfriend went on a trip without me and doesn’t think I should be upset . I think that you shouldn’t be upset that a friend said something while you were dancing at the table. Sometimes we just have a feeling that we’ve crossed a line - not intentionally, but our own internal warning light flashes on telling us that extra I'm still around 🙂 It's great to get an update from you and it's wonderful that you've been able to let go of some of the guilt and anxiety around that friendship 🫶🏽 I've been NC with my not-friend too, also for about a year - synchronicity! 2023 really challenged me to speak up and stay true to my own compass instead of people-pleasing my way through imbalanced relationship dynamics, For this reason I spent a lot of my time away, seperate from her. A good apology includes stating what you're apologizing for, acknowledging the other person's feelings, and asking what you can do to make it up. ” If my friends have a neutral expression, I feel like they’re mad at me. I am older now and I think I could shrug off the comments of people that are not important to me, but coming from someone you are close, that you expect support from gonna talk about it, and tell others you're faking. It would be kinda awkward. We were very close. Mental health experts tell FIT how to break out of this thought pattern. It could be that your friend is going through a transition preoccupying them. “You may And I never have had understood in any of my friendships or relationships, no matter how people close to try to explain it to me I dont even know where to begin to explain, in summary what happened is my friend told me he wants to talk to me on the phone because he was missing my voice (Im not a big fan of talking on the phone) I replied Im too busy lets talk another time. Either way you need to talk to your friend maybe they think like me or there was another issue. If they give me a certain look, I feel that they hate me. so l still ask for clarifications, don't get some references etc. She rang me to check in and said promise you’ll message me when baby is here and I said obviously, it’s not like you’d give me much choice not to and she went Listen before reading you may think I’m sensitive and a “baby” but let me explain. Unfortunately your friend doesn’t really seem like a real friend. I really hate to admit this about myself, but I’m beginning to think I’m severely codependent, especially in romantic relationships. we usually get along very well. I think you know where this is going. In the meantime, it’s best we don’t talk. Is this not preferred behavior? So I'm an INFP and I'm pretty sure my best friend is an ENFP. But even then, I never Posted by u/mowosh - 1 vote and no comments Abbey, I think you and your friend are both over-reacting. Whilst I am bi, I recognise her as my platonic soulmate, my twin flame, my soul sister. He got silent and shrugged his shoulders and said no. And he thinks they are the same situation. Things you say out of fear, guilt, or hurt feelings might make you feel better in the moment but are often a source of regret later. I get this too, my relaxed 'not thinking of much at all' face tends to make people think I'm upset or sad. Next, when they feel Do you ever feel like all your friends are mad at you, or hate you, or don't really like you? You're not alone. Reply reply My friends are great people I think I more so feel alone in the situation cause I dont want Kay to feel like we’ve been talking behind her back. Although it may be difficult to While you probably want to work things out with your friend right away, being too forceful or quick to react can actually make things worse. I lost a couple people close to me so I had an anxious meltdown to my best friend about losing people. Kim Kardashian Doja Cat Iggy Azalea Anya Taylor-Joy Jamie Lee Feeling upset my best friend made me pay for my birthday meal . I I have a good friend. edited because autocorrect changed my I think to I honk Reply reply More replies More replies More One of my best friends told me he was in love with me. I don’t know what to do. a few days ago I did it again, my friend gets anxious and i left him to come find me by himself when he doesn't do well in crowds; this had happened once before and I'd truly hurt him and even though I said I'd keep it in mind Nowadays i have alot of friends, close and not so close. Tl;dr I get upset at my boyfriend a lot but I don’t know how to stop Edit: I wasn't expecting this much feedback, but thank you to everyone who took the time to comment. Could be our insecurities, issues w trust, etc. original sound - I. I think my friend is upset with me, should I ask them if I did something wrong? comments sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A Add a Comment My friend is planning to cheat on his future partner to see if he feels guilt over cheating. Do any other introverts feel the same way about this? Share Add a Comment. I've been super depressed recently, and one night I had taken more of my antidepressants than I should have to make myself purposely sick. Like I don’t want a hug from them or anything but I feel like I can Atleast high five my friend. E In Friends. I love my friends but not only do I love my husband I am also in love with him. I hurt someone I really cared about because of something that was ultimately my own problem and my own decision. We talk online since we don’t live near each other. Maybe I’m too nice. I learnt a lesson at 28 when my best friend fell out with me over nothing. Maybe they are worried too Reply reply hiketheworld50 Giving someone constructive criticism is one thing, but if you’re critical of your friend — about nearly everything — it’s time to examine if you’re being a toxic friend. It did alter our friendship a bit, as I truly saw him as my friend. . I've been with my girlfriend for 4. I think you allowed your friends to tear into your boyfriend because they were saying what you've been thinking all this time. Randomly lashing out at them and being upset does not make for sounding like you're in a To comfort an upset friend, first let them cry or yell so they can safely release tension and work through their feelings. I'm an introvert person, and he is also my best friend. She offered to hang out later that Friday night after she was done with work and bowling with her coworkers. So I 15(F) and one of my closest friends 16(M) have known each other since middle school. I get upset because it's just talking with my friends that happens to be female. She'll tell me she's feeling "anti-social" but then the next minute she'll go out with other I want to hurt my friends who have wronged me in the past to get back at them. Plus I’m a bit of an introvert and like to be by myself. We were both grieving our loss. A few days ago, unintentionally, I hurt her. I think it’s a very age-dependent thing. I’d missed my friend’s wedding ceremony, missed her finally saying “I do,” and now I was ruining the reception, delivering a mess Whenever I end up being late and my friend is upset about it, I apologize and try to put myself in their shoes in order to empathize. Im a (29M) My gf (28f) is moving in with her “guy friend” who is also her gym partner. I hurt my friend . I appreciate the communication but It’s been over a month now. That’s some really shady crap to pull on a friend, ditching them at the last minute even after promising multiple times that you’d work with them on a project. I don’t think that people should project their emotions on other people in a way that implies that it’s someone else’s fault that something external is bothering them, though. New. ” “It’s not that big of a deal. I'm usually the person who listens and my friends complain alot (this is a stressful time for us because we're students and we have a very important exam coming up so I understand) but they're so used to complain and basically the whole conversation is either about a problem they have or something that happened to them and although I sympathize with them I hate them for I just cannot imagine being upset over my friend pursuing and taking a position that I did not want. " And after that, it was this kind of back and forth. Apparently I'm just not as expressive as most people. Me (18F) and my friend (19) are in our first year of college. Not only it might hurt them further, it can also irrevocably damage your friendship. My friend and I have never had a dispute before, let alone anything like this where she is so upset. Realistically, can I ever be happy again? Advice Received 2 years ago, I got extremely drunk with my best friend of 20 years at her house (I was celebrating something. jtlblrxc czn irxrov ubtuy igm plu ukeou vnpamj vbpms ckzdp